Sofa shuffle

We donated some furniture to the local charity today, http://www.friscocenter.org/. Two desks from pre-computer days that just didn't work for us any more, a Jordache suitcase I somehow inherited from The Jesus of Cheese's grandmother, some kid clothes, two chairs which I originally bought from the Frisco Resale so it's a double donation, and most importantly, our sofa.

The sleeper sofa. The green thing. The sofa I bought because I thought The Jesus of Cheese would enjoy taking naps on it, and it was a deal. I bought it pre-children, when we lived in Carrollton, Texas in an apartment with our white cat and white dog and were just only beginning to consider procreation.

We didn't conceive either of our children on it, though. Just sayin'. However, the day I found out the first time I was pregnant--the one I miscarried--I found out I was pregnant on a day almost entirely spent on that sofa. For some reason, Ed (AKA Skrog) spent the night on the sofa. It must have been because of a bachelor's party; since the Jesus of Cheese rarely drinks much, he would have driven Ed as far as our place, but not allowed him to drive home.

That next day, Ed, The Jesus of Cheese, and I drank leftover beers and watched the extended version of The Blues Brothers. And Ed ditched a condom in our sofa. Unused and still packaged.

You'll have to ask him why he did that. When I found it while cleaning, he was the only suspect. He's confessed, also.

Most of my family's slept on that sofa. They tried to tell me the sleeper sofa was comfortable but I never believed them.

After the kids, the sofa issue was spills. And pee and poop and vomit.

With little kids, that stuff's just inevitable. But you know, being such a horrible housekeeper, it's not like that sofa was healthy.

I washed the cushions and the pillows. A lot. But we--the Jesus of Cheese and I--decided we didn't like the sofa enough to try and clean it so it was healthy, and then keep it that way.

But how to get rid of it? Charity! And while we were at it, we gave them back two chairs that ironically I had originally bought from the charity resale. And two desks we now hate.

I was a little sad today when the charity came to take it away. I commented to The Jesus Of Cheese that we should have had sex on it one more time. He was embarrassed like he always is. Because, you know, there were other people in our house. And stuff.

Now there's nothing in our living room (which is, according to our official floor plan, our dining room) except a big screen tv, the components, and two papasan folding chairs.

We really should have fucked on the sofa one more time.