Say it with me, everyone!

XM and Sirius, sittin' in a tree
M-E-R-G-I-N-G!

Some Tony Stewart fans over at Club Smoke were wondering what the new satellite radio merger means to us as customers. We don't want our access to Tony's radio show to be more difficult than it already is! We gotta have our weekly Tony fix! Besides the race. Oh, and qualifying. Um, and happy hour on SPEED. And the pre-race. Er. Yeah.

We TS fans are in a dark, scary place right now. How will it affect us? Whatever shall we do? What does it all mean, dammit!

Well, somebody asked, so I told them:

I think it will change the whole payment structure, and in the end some subscribers will pay more and some less, depending on how they subscribe.

The subscription plan that's been proposed is "al la carte." That is, subscribers choose which channels they want, or possibly groups or categories of channels. Effectively, what is being created right now is the "Ma Bell" of satellite radio, with competition encouraged immediately.

When a technology is new, generally the first company on the scene that determines the standards. Or in this case, the first two.

Here's what I think will happen:

1) The "merger" will allow for the standardization of satellite broadcasting. One standard, one radio, etc so now your car will come equipped with a standard radio that can receive ALL satellite stations: Sirius, XM, and all new competitors. You won't need a new radio installed every few years.

2) The merger will actually create three companies: those who develop the equipment and broadcast the signal (let's call it XSiriusMcrosbyStillsnashandSometimesYoung), and two (or even more) companies which will sell their programming to the broadcasters. It will pit Sirius channels (which, for instance, would be considered like HBO on cable) against XM (which is like Showtime). Then there will be several categories of channels, which at first will be a part of their original company's lineup, but eventually might become entirely separate.

3) Other companies will be allowed to broadcast satellite also, starting at with the same frequency band, but later on different frequencies. This is what happened with cell phones, and why there was analog, then digital, etc. At first, all cell companies were using the SAME broadcast/wireless equipment, and just sharing it. Then as companies developed better, and way cooler equipment, they put in their own broadcast network that hooked their cells and switches into the landlines, and switched their users over.

Soon there will be one SatelliteRadio subscriber service, but later there will be others--I'm pretty sure this will be required under anti-monopoly laws. Legislators will give a certain amount of time during which they hope a competing company will form, just like MCI was formed in the 1980s and competed with AT&T for long distance. Sprint was also competing, but they didn't own any phone "trunk" lines--they leased them from MCI and AT&T. No customers needed new phone lines inside their house, but they had the option to pay someone else for their phone calls.

If no one steps up to compete, eventually the XM/Sirius broadcast company will be required to divest and compete against itself, but the same programs will be offered from either service. However, I'm sure there will be one or more competitors. I'm pretty sure that several existing companies have already developed their technology (think: any existing cellular or cable TV provider) and have been waiting for this opportunity. These new companies will also offer the same options for stations.

So two years from now, I might be listening to Tony's radio show on my home stereo through a service that's bundled with my Cingular cellular service, but other people might be listening to him in their car through their OnStar service, and others might listen through a brain implant brought to them by Bob's Implants Emporium and Media service of Emporia, Kansas. (Lots of open space in Kansas; they NEED satellite radio.)

It's a world of possibilities. I do know one thing for sure: It's going to really suck for a few months.

So, do I buy that new radio I need or not?

Here are two answers from the merger FAQ, plus my commentary:

[quote]7. Should I buy a radio today or wait for a dual-service radio? I want to buy a second radio; should I wait for the new models?

There's never been a better time to be a SIRIUS or XM subscriber. Any radios or other equipment that subscribers currently use will be fully supported by SIRIUS and XM for many years to come. Furthermore, following the merger, existing radios will all be able to receive a mix of programming from both services.


8. Which company's satellites will the merged company use? How long will you operate both satellite systems?

Each of our satellite systems will continue to operate for many years to come providing service to the millions of radios in use today.[/quote]


IMHO: They will achieve a perceived "merger" by each service broadcasting the other's programming in addition to their own. They will keep doing this indefinitely. The "a la carte" or bundled services will be achieved with the old equipment using new computer code on their old system and satellites, which were created with this adaptability in mind.

Concurrently, they will develop a third, merged system (including billing, access codes, etc.) which they will entice all their current subscribers over to...kind of like when our cell phone companies got us all to switch to digital from analog. A new, really cool radio. New car--well, they'll just switch you over to the new service which will seem just like the old; you won't care which part of the satellite and which computer is sending your signal, as long as it's the same or better quality and doesn't cost more.

This third, merged system may actually be a "let's just switch all the XM people onto the Sirius system" or vice-versa. Some companies think it's cheaper to do it that way. However, evidence (AT&T Cellular merging with Cingular) suggests that this will end in an internal tug-of-war. A third, brand-new system sometimes works better. Point is, we as customers won't know, and frankly, we wont' care.

You can keep your old radio OR get a new one: they'll both work for as long as you want your service. However, they will be introducing new products in (I would guess) less than 18 months which will make you want to buy a new radio.


In case anyone wonders if I'm just talking out my ass, throwing my projections around: Yeah, I kind of am. This is JUST my opinion of how things will go (unless otherwise attributed) based on my experience in the telecom industry, where I was a researcher (that's another name for corporate librarian) for years. I had just started in the industry when the FCC auctioned off new bandwidth for the development of new kinds of cell phones and services, and then with the actual development of the new equipment and sevices, and witness (and get burned by) some of the spectacular failures. I worked for several companies, doing the same job. Looking back, it was really cool to experience! I could blather on forever about it. But I won't. Lucky you!

Addendum: Check out what the asshats at Clear Channel think. Or as the Jesus of Cheese says of them: They can be accused of posteriorial haberdashery.

Home

I was actually going to write something totally different, about spraining both my ankles on Saturday, but that stupid and slightly embarrassing story can wait.

I have a confession to make: I'm homesick.

No, it doesn't make sense, because I have a home and great husband and great kids, and my in-laws are great, and my friends are great even though I don't have enough of them here...

Here. In Texas. Which really is my home. I've lived here for 14 years, and in the same house for 8 of those years. It should be familiar, comforting, irritating...you know: Home.

And it is. But it isn't.

There's a part of me that still measures the months by the inches of snow outside and then the height of the wheat. I still wait for the Chinook to blow, I still dread the March afternoon sun which seems determined to slice my corneas and burn my retinas.

Today, just for today, I wish I were somewhere, where my parents were bugging the crap out of me IN PERSON; where I could hold the type of conversation with my brother The Boy that stretches throughout a day, or sometimes the whole length of my visit, but only contains a few hundred words; where BeerHound and I can bug the crap out of everyone else with our giggles and the interrupting chicken joke.

The Home I want today is one where a meal takes longer than 15 minutes, where the phone rings a lot, where the music is too loud and there is spontaneous swing dancing. Where "goodbye" takes 45 minutes because no one really wants to say it, so they keep saying other things.

I don't feel like I have that today. But I think I just drew a pretty good blueprint, and stapled it on the wall.

For the "WTF?" File

I just met the victim/homeowner in this story. He was at the grocery store buying bandages, and he also bought LOTS of Girl Scout cookies from us, plus he gave us a donation!

Man, that's gotta suck. He moves to Texas from Alaska (where my uncle went to prison for a similiar deal, except the other guy was unarmed--9 months for attempted murder), and a couple days later someone breaks into his house and shoots him. And now, his house is surrounded by media people.

While I'm sure the tv cameras will keep any other burglar away, I doubt they'll find anything more to the story.

We told they guy that if anyone deserved Girl Scout cookies today, it was him.

Re-post: Interaction with The Jesus of Cheese

(Originally Posted: Sunday, 9/24/2006 7:15:33 PM)

--Janice!

--What?

--Janice!

--Come here!

Our conversations always start this way.

He's sitting at his computer, playing some music.

--Name the movie this is from.

It's a lone flute. A pan flute, if I hear correctly. A Stratocaster along with an orchestra swells.

--Hmm. A spaghetti western? Something...hmm...

The music swells even more. It could have been good, but it's too cheezy.

He laughs.

--It's Zamphir. Come on, what movie?

--Let's see. Loneliness, battle, going over a hill, leaving something or someone behind.

--Now who would steal a spaghetti western song?

I hesitate. Then I blurt it out.

--"Kill Bill?"

He blushes and giggles.

--It is, isn't it? I'm a fucking genius!

This was actually a failure. Most songs, I get within the first ten seconds. Unless I haven't seen the movie.

Rent

Renting stinks!

My friend Elly and I were roommates in graduate school. Well, the place we lived, the complex manager was three doors down, and the maintenance guy was four doors down. When we moved in, the manager, whose name was something like Prudence, made it very clear that if we had a rental issues, we were NOT to talk to them in the parking lot about it because "even if they lived on-site, they had their own lives." Um, sure. Not a problem.

So we DID always talk to them in the office and follow the correct channels, but they NEVER reciprocated! Ever!

As we moved in, the maintainence guy was building a new fence around our patio, but he didn't finish the door of it before we moved in. We didn't particularly care.

But every, and I mean EVERY FUCKING TIME he saw us in the parking lot, going somewhere, mr. maintenance would stop us and tell us he was going to fix the door "tomorrow" or "this weekend."

Um, whatever, we still didn't care, but HELLO! Um, a little parity, here?

So we talked to the manager about it, who talked to the guy about it, who then WOULD STOP US IN THE PARKING LOT TO APOLOGIZE! We'd be on our way to class, or work, and he would delay us to apologize for delaying us????

Dumb as a rock.

And he never did fix the damn fence door.

0-dark:30

I really hate Daylight Savings. It was originally one of those efforts thunk up by the government to give the illusion that they were "taking steps" toward some common goal for the good of the country. Kind of like when they banned disposable lighters on airplanes.

The theory behind Daylight Savings was that if people were given more working hours during the daylight, then they would use electricity less, resulting in economic savings.

However, DST was first used in the US in 1918--when most american homes didn't yet have electricity. And most of those that did, would simply shift their supposed electrical usage from evening hours, to morning hours, because--to state the obvious--it's still fucking dark out when we wake up.

People in rural areas were told it was for the benefit of urban business people. Urban people were told it was for the farmers.

Ya know what? I've never met a cow who can read a clock. They may know how much time goes by between milkings, but it's not like they care if it's 5:00 AM or 6:00.

The only actual economic benefit that can be quantified is that if it's light out, people will do retail shopping later in the evening. And that's fine.

It still doesn't make me any less cranky this morning.

Happy Birthday Ulfy! Or, The Time I Didn't Loose My Virginity.

I happened to notice the date this morning--I don't always--and realized that my high school classmate David--not to be confused with my husband David--is turning 40 today.

There's no reason WHY I remember Ulfy's birthday. I just do.

So here's his profile.

A Tribute to Ulfy: His Hairline Aged Long Before He Did.

He was one of those guys who needed the Hair Club for Men while still in high school. I think in his case, the problem was sperm retention. And also in his case, I think he looks much better bald. Some men just do.

That's not exactly a fair assessment, as I don't have any knowledge of his sex life during his teen years, except that he didn't have sex with me. He COULD have, but he DIDN'T.

If he'd have made one move, just ONE, he could have had it all. No strings attached. It wouldn't have bothered me if he never called after, because he never called me, ever, anyway.

I bet you're all wondering how I would consider him a friend. Considering my graduating class of 43, we kind of had to get along.

He moved to town in the 4th grade. I developed a crush on him, and didn't hide it well. It probably caused him some embarrassment. Sorry, Ulfy! After 6th grade, though, I vaguely remember hiding it better. As with most teenage crushes, it came and went.

And by then he didn't mind having conversations with me, although I would quite often start waxing intellectual and he'd tell me to shut up because no one cared. A bit blunt, but accurate.

Mostly, he was funny. And he was loyal to his friends. He was the class clown, a good athlete, and a very mediocre trombone player. He couldn't sing a note--he was totally tone deaf--yet he had one of the leads (Scarecrow) when we performed The Wizard Of Oz.

Here's a picture I drew of him in the 10th grade.



It was drawn while on a biology field trip to a wildlife preserve or some such place. I don't know if he knew I drew it, but he was the most animated thing on the bus, and I was bored.

Earlier that year, we'd had a Moment. It could have been Operation: Virginity Relinquishment as far as I was concerned. We had motive and opportunity, but the means were lacking. As in, I didn't have a condom and I wouldn't have trusted any that he might have had with him, as they were very likely to have been in his wallet since 7th grade.

But I never got to find out if he had one, because he didn't touch me. AT ALL. If he would have just touched my shoulder, or something, anything! and I would have trusted him enough. I would have taken the lead from there.

Motive: two horny teenagers who didn't imagine themselves in love--or even dating--but would have liked to be a part of that club of the sexually experienced.

Opportunity: my friend's house, in her basement, laying on a spare mattress, with no adult supervision and none due home for hours. I think school had been let out early because of a snow storm and I was staying at the friend's house, and Ulfy stopped by on his way from his place--yes, he was out walking in a blizzard--on his way to his friends' house across the alley from my friends'. Okay, I'll back up a bit: We were alone and LAYING TOGETHER ON A MATTRESS. And he didn't make a move. Let me give you a tip, yon teenage boys: if a girl lays on a mattress with you, willingly, she will NOT reject your advances. Well, not all of them, anyway ;-)

It didn't happen. Maybe the potential for it to happen was all in my mind; I don't know. We eventually went across to his friend's house and played football in the snow, had hot chocolate, that kind of crap. Which was fun, but not the kind of fun I had in mind.

So happy 40th birthday, Ulfy.

Break

The reason I really hate that Evil Oil Empire I worked for, is because of a cardinal.

Not an athlete, not a religious office holder, but an actual bird.

One day, I was at lunch. Lunch at this company was NOT like lunch at other companies. We had a cafeteria with great food, but no one actually ate in the cafeteria area unless they were sitting with co-workers, discussing some aspect of work or other--basically water-cooler talk, except water-cooler talk wasn't really allowed, so we had to go to lunch (which should technically be our own time) to discuss work in a more casual atmosphere. Because work was NEVER casual at this place.

Mostly we had take-out from the cafeteria. Then we ate at our desks and answered the phone when it rang, on our own time, because it would be unseemly not to.

I, however, would actually take a break on my lunch break. I would smoke. There were only about three of us, if who I saw while smoking was any evidence. So really there were probably about 20.

On that day I had eaten my take-out cafeteria food at my desk, gone downstairs to smoke, was on my way back to my desk, and I still had about 20 minutes left of lunch to go. So I was walking down this hall on the [info deleted] floor, looking out over the lovely scenery that's kind of a wildlife preserve. I guess that's how the company made up for its raping of the rest of the planet; we may have ruined YOUR corner of the globe, but look! We left this 120 acres next to our corporate headquarters in the city of [info deleted] pristine! We're not ALL bad! At lease WE have wildlife to look at!

Not in a hurry, I was looking out the window and saw a female cardinal. Where I grew up, we didn't have cardinals, and I haven't had a lot of time to sit around looking for them since I moved here, so I was entranced. She flitted along, from ledge to branch and back, moving slowly along in the direction I eventually wanted to go. It was really cool.

I was standing there looking out the window, and took a glance to my left, at the wall in between the windows.

There was a camera in it. One of those dinky little things you can get at the Spy Store. Nothing you'd notice unless you stopped and looked.

What did I do? I smiled into it. Waved at it, and said 'Hi' to the shift security manager, by name.

It really pissed me off. I knew that there were cameras everywhere, and that security could trace my movements everywhere in the building.

But that moment, I was just bird watching. And enjoying it. And they were spying on me. Oh, bully for them.

Assholes.

I was so totally in the wrong job.