When I first moved to Texas, I would always carry my passport. I was at least 25, but apparently I looked 20 or younger because I always got double-carded. Yes, it's legal to double-card. In Texas, anyone not bearing a Texas Driver License or Texas Identification may be asked for a second form of photo I.D.
I figured this out my second day in Texas. Lucky for me, I was still in the process of moving and had my passport in my purse. Ya see, I had discovered--JOY--that I could buy real beer at a grocery or convenience store. This was unheard of in Minnesota; you had to go to a liquor store for regular beer, because what they sold elsewhere was only 3.2 percent.
So there I was, giddy at the grocery store, buying beer and hamburger and potatoes. I guess I was acting suspicious, which is understandable because I was WAY too happy to be buying beer and potatoes and hamburger. So of course I was carded, and I presented my Minnesota Driver License, number H-636-368-585-151. Which (at the time) looked more like a credit card than a DL. (EVERYONE who carded me said that.) So the pimply guy who carded me asked for another ID, at which time I presented my passport. I had to show him where the birthdate was. I offered to wait for his manager to verify. He declined and let me buy the damn 6 pack.
My passport was endlessly amazing to Texans. I don't know if it was my Freshly Fucked hairdo in the picture (both literal and figurative), the East German entrance stamps, or just the idea that there was somewhere...else...that I had visited. Dunno.
They also thought the Canadian money I kept in there was pretty cool. So much so that somebody eventually stole it. It was less than $10 worth.
It was really a bit of relief to not carry the passport around once I applied for a Texas driver's license. I thought it would be much more difficult than it was, you see. I thought that I'd have to take at least a written test, if not a road test. But nope! I gave them my Minnesota license, they gave me a paper Texas one, and I paid the standard fee. That was IT!
However, it was a pain in the ass buying beer for the few days that I only had a paper Texas license and a passport.
After that, I used my passport twice more. Once to go to Montreal, and once to Toronto. This was when a passport was only "advised," so the Canadian authorities looked at me strangely when I presented a passport.
My passport's been expired 7 years, now. Kind of sad, that I haven't needed it.
The Jesus of Cheese and I will be applying for passports for ourselves and the kids in the near future, because you never know. A quick trip to Mexico isn't out of the question living in Texas, and we've taken shortcuts through Canada in the past--which is another long, stupid story.
When you apply for a renewal, even lapsed like mine, you're supposed to turn in the old passport. But there's no way in hell. I have East German stamps in there. I have that silly freshly fucked hairstyle preserved for all eternity. It's nostalgic, and I'm going to say I lost it.
Because it's mine.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I'm so happy I banished you from NRWP 'cause now you write every day! I need a passport too, btw, although if I ever leave the country, it's probably because I don't intend to return.
But half my posts are old ones from NRWP, Nick. I'm not prolific; I'm just plagarizing myself.
And remember, you need a passport to get INTO other countries, even if you're not coming back here.
What is so scary about alcohol that some states won't allow you to purchase it at grocery stores? Hell, the Target down the street from my office sells wine.
BeerPup: Be advised - the issue of selling liquor on Sundays in Minnesota has come up again! Maybe this is the time that it finally passes (in those rare cases we forget to plan ahead and have run out, aka Holiday Weekends!!). I'm sure the church ladies will push the law down, but I'll keep you informed.
M
Post a Comment