Things I learned from my brother:

1) In order to preserve one's own sanity, ignore Mother.

2) Never barter. Your work is worth what it's worth and it's not up for negotiation.

3) Being at ease in a variety of social situations is the mark of true class.

4) Mosquito lawn ornaments are funny.

5) When driving to the airport while transporting guns, never park; just drop off your passenger. Be sure to wave at the security guard.