Pharoh

In the hospital, at the end, I was talking to my friend Jami's daughter Avi. She's 10. I was trying to prepare her for what it was like to see my dad the way he was. He'd lost a lot of weight, and dammit, he was BALD. It had been a shock to me, and I can only imagine what it would be like for her.

"He looks like…well, a mummy. Do you watch the Discovery channel?"

"No."

"Never?"

"Never."

I looked at Jami. She confirmed it. No Discovery channel, EVER! Such a travesty.

"Okay. Well, some day in school, you'll study ancient Egypt, or you'll get to watch the Discovery channel," I paused and glared at Jami. "They'll show mummies, upwrapped. Their bones are there, and their skin is there, but there's no…" I had to stop and think. "They've lost tissue. Some of themselves. And when they were buried, they did all kinds of other things to preserve the pharohs and stuff. It's really cool. But it's kind of shocking, how much they look like themselves, but they don't.

"So that's how Marvin looks right now. Himself, but not. It's okay to be a little shocked."

I'll admit I was rocked to the bottoms of my stupid pink tennies, the first time I saw him in that hospital bed.

"Dad! Look who came to see you!"

He opened his eyes--both of them, for once and said, "Toby! Jami!" and then, "Avi!"

They stayed breifly, talked breifly, and the the nurse had to do something without us in the room. Outside, I talked to Avi a little more.

I had never met Avi before that day. She was due to be born the same week as my first baby--the one I miscarried. Being determinded to have a baby that year, I got pregnant with Zoe and had her with an easy margin; she was born in November. Avi had been born the June before. I won't even pretend that Avi wasn't my parents' substitute for the grandchild who didn't arrive as expected. For a while, once I was definitely pregnant again, Mom--and Dad--were all, Avi this and Avi that, and I know that most of this was second and third hand information, but what can you do? They're Grandma and Grandpa. They were just doing what they do.

Avi was definitely uncomfortable, after seeing Dad.

"You don't remember him, do you?" I asked. She admitted she didn't.

"Well, at least now you know what a mummy looks like. Some day you'll see a picture of one and say, hey, that look just like Marvin did! It's okay that you don't remember him. You were only a baby. He doesn't have to be important to you. You're important to him."

The Pharoh had spoken.